Friday, January 25, 2013

History of a Weapon: The Ubersaw

With the adaptation of the Quick Fix and later the TF-1968 standard Medigun onto battlefields around the Gravel Sea, TF Industries began expanding the research and development of notdeadium-powered healing coils in the interest of reducing the company's insurance premiums. Bedwetting pacifists also suggested that the technology could be used to heal sick people and preserve lives tragically cut short in the endless and seemingly pointless skirmishes between upstanding legitimate businesses in the area, but nobody could see the profit in it.

Much of this effort was directed towards discovering ways to increase the frequency and duration of the high-emission charges which made the mediguns particularly devastating in combat situations. Although it was well-known that something was accumulating inside the healing reactors, what it was, exactly, could not be determined since opening unvented reactors tended to vaporize unwary scientists, wary scientists, unwary chimpanzees, and nosy criminal investigators.

Then, while an unknown scientist was sawing into a mercenary to retrieve a lost watch, he noticed that the patient's organs glowed faintly. Upon further investigation, he discovered that the TF-1966 receiver antenna (used to draw medibeams to the correct patient on the battlefield) also emitted high-charge particles into the patient's bloodstream, irradiating his vital fluids. When a healing beam was attached to the patient, these particles (along with a small amount of evaporating bodily fluid) would travel back up the beam, through the emitter and into the reactor, where they would accumulate.

Ventilation of accumulated irradiated fluid was totally impossible until the reactor hit peak capacity. Several synthetics were tried, but they all failed miserably. Ultimately it was found that only irradiated fluids from human subjects could be used to artificially "seed" the reactor. When it was determined by legal that mercenaries could not be persuaded to lower their weapons long enough for fluids to be harvested, alternate solutions had to be sought.

The only populations where the fluid-irradiation levels were high enough was amongst TF Industry mercenaries, so finally development of field tools for collecting fluids from enemy mercenaries became the obvious tactic, leading to the development of the TF-M1 Extraction Needle, which was basically a horrifyingly large venipuncture needle. The needle, while effective, was ultimately superseded by the introduction of the much more useful TF-M2 Combination Extraction Needle/Bonesaw, also known as the "Ubersaw". The TF-M2 had the added benefit of being a necessary component in an intralumbar spinal tap, a highly effective harvesting method.