Rejected Mercenaries

An idea I'm developing...a short video featuring four classes that tried out for the mercenary team but were ultimately rejected. I like the idea that the merc team we see aren't the only people in the world, that there are people with highly specialized skills that could have been on the team but aren't simply because the gameplay would be godawful or they couldn't fit into the culture of mental illness propagated by the team. Specifically, the idea is that RED and BLU actually hired a GI-Joesque universe of mercs with highly specialized skills, and this video would be a small sampling of who they are and why they're not in Team Fortress 2.

The Diver

A frogman-style diver in a skintight body suit, flippers, and monoglass scuba goggles, he speaks in a voice like Sean Connery pretending to be English.

Weapons: Speargun /Limpet Launcher /Diving Knife
Abilities: Can breathe underwater / Improved Swimming speed
Scene Baselines:
Runs out of spawn into Badwater's desert environment.
Ambushes a spy, but is subjected to a karate chop, larate kick, and eyeful of powerful chest hair
Eventually settles blithely in a knee deep puddle, sighs dejectedly

The Pilot 

A long-faced but smiling chap in aerial ace gear, like the fur-trimmed bomber's jacket, aviator's goggles, and mic. He speaks in a methodical, almost lyrical slow tones, like a commercial airline pilot or Bing Crosby. On his back is his main loadout, a rocket backpack. Different loadouts carry different packs, including a balloon, helicopter rotor, and jump jet.

Weapons
Shotgun
Airborne PDA
--Letter Bomb (creates area where enemies temporarily take minicrits)
-- Air Drop (drops a fast-deploying air sentry or weapons crate for allies)
--Paralanding (teleporter)
Microphone
Abilities: Hold jump to fly
Domination lines:
"You are now free to move about the coffin."
"And if you look out the window on the right, you will see the fiery gates of Hell."
Jokes for video:
takeoff through roof
Runs out of fuel, landing amongst an enemy camp

The Boxer

Weapons: None, obviously
Abilities: None of these, either.
Hand to hand fight with scout, as he's winning, scout pulls out his scattergun

The Bureaucrat

Weapons: n/a
Abilities:  n/a
Spends the entire video sitting quietly at a desk, scribbling. Various explosions rock his desk, disturb his papers, and tip over something onto his desk.