Android Voice Lines

TF2 has introduced a new character trio: the Asteroid androids. These cute, helpless androids--and I'm going to be calling them androids forever, to disambiguate them from the robots of Mann Vs Machine--represent the game's newest objective and newest characters. Players hunt and kill them in order to harvest their cores, which are worth points. They even have a few voice lines! Which they say pretty frequently.

"Beep boop."
"Path not found."

They say these a lot. So I decided to write some more!

While Idle:
Lovely. Day. For. A. Stroll.
I. Am. Not. A. Robot.
Beep Boop. I. Am. A. Potted. Plant.
I. Love. Being. Deciduous.
Beep Boop. Pollen.
Boop. Roots.
Beep. Xylophloem.
No. Robots. Here.

While Being Attacked:
Please. Don't. I. Have. A. Robot. Family.
You. Have. Voided. My. Warranty.
Warning: Shooting. Robots. Is. Bad. For. Karma.
Minus. 5. Karma.
Simulated. Pain. Still. Hurts.
Evasive. Action.
Please. Spare. My. Robo-life.
What. Did. Robots. Ever. Do. To. You?



 Respawning:
This. Time. It. Will. Be. Different.
Hello. World.
I. Wish. I. Was. A. Turret.


Damaged While Invulnerable:
Ha. Ha. I. Am. Invincible.
Problem. Exists. Between. User. And. Gun.


Invulnerability Fading: 
Beep boop. Oh no.
HarmLimitation2.exe has stopped working!

Healing:
Repairmotron Activating.
Is. Anyone. There? 
Control. Alt. Heal.

B Bot Exclusive:
The. A. Bot. Was. Destroyed. By. Hubris.
No. Harm. Will. Befall. Me. Here.
Nobody. Will. Find. Me. Here.

C Bot Exclusive:
The. B. Bot. Was. Inferior.
The C. Bot. Is. Superior.
Hat. Wearing. Indicates. Superiority.
Don't. Shoot. I. Have. A. Hat.

Destroyed:
Tell. My. Robot-wife. I. Cyber-loved. Her.
I. Will. Be. Back.
Nobody. Touch. My. Stuff. When. I'm. Dead.
Only. 2. Days. To. Deactivation.


Attacking Enemy is Killed:
Thank. You. Human. Friend.
See? Being. Shot. Is. Not. Fun.


Some Customization Concepts
Now, most TF2 objectives have a bundle of personality--that is to say, they're internally consistent with the fiction of the game, and even when they're being silly they're still telling a kind of story. But the robots are the first ones to be actual characters. With that in mind, it'd be pretty hilarious if you could customize your team's robots. A robot customization item would make me happy.

Concepts: Friendly Firearms

Here's two friendly firearms, designed to offer support solutions. I always like the idea of weapons which work in nonconventional ways, so firearms that provide support-style buffs is always fun. Now the danger of these designs, as I'm sitting here, is that their inoffensive "support" nature may not make their effects immediately apparent to players. I want to tighten and generalize these buffs a bit, too.


The Starting Gun  
Scout Secondary 
Fires a shot that gives all allies in range the Athletic buff. Works on a charge timer (30 seconds)

Athletic: Grants allies ten seconds of protection from fall damage, plus a scout-style midair jump.


The Signal Flare
Pyro Secondary
Fires a team-colored flare which confers the Firefighting buff to all allies in its AOE,

Firefighting Buff: Melee weapons deal critical hits on flaming opponents.

Complaints? Concerns? Think it's OP? Drop me a line in the comments section!