Super Freaking Crazy Idea:
"Portal Fortress". The game takes place inside test tracks in the Aperture Military Hardware Drilling and Home Office Supply Sphere, where Aperture-Brand Military Androids are field-tested to determine combat readiness.
Concussotron (Scout)
Personality: Barely Contained Emotional Breakdown
Weapon: Propulsion Gel Cannon / Rail Hook
This unit is highly mobile and capable of utilizing the robot mobility tracks. Someone pointed out the minor pitfall that those mobility tracks aren't generally available on active battlefields, but the lab boys assure us we can install them for a nominal fee.
Aggressor Core (Soldier)
Personality: Reincarnated Soldier
Weapon: Rockets
A repurposed Rocket Turret. We downloaded the personality of a decorated war hero to make it more deadly, but it turns out that guy was a homeless drifter covered in raccoon bites. Either way, he was willing to do it for $60, paid in expired soup.
Incinerating Unit (Pyro)
Weapon: Handheld Discourager
I'll be honest with you. This one was a pretty bad mistake. We tried to fire the team responsible, but the robot beat us to it. It also fired the files, some furniture, and several visiting astronauts. So we basically just locked the door on that wing, hung a fern on there, and walked away. You didn't put it into the testing rotation, did you?
Pitchomat (Demoman)
Personality: Pitchman
Weapon: Explosives
This midsize robot was actually designed to deliver hot popcorn at baseball games, from back before baseball was outlawed. Currently we're experimenting with a retrofit to make them throw live grenades, but nothing we do can stop them screaming advertising slogans.
Suppressnik (Heavy)
Personality: Angry Janitor
Weapon: Heavy Cleansing Gel Hose
Originally this fella was just there to pull skeletons out of test chambers and keep blood out of the groutwork, but when one was accidentally left in a live test chamber with a subject, we couldn't get it enrolled in the Combat Program fast enough. We also couldn't sleep for a week. On the bright side, turns out that cleaning hose is ideal for discouraging Concussotrons and Aggression Units from using their Mobility Gel Bombs.
Mobile Apparatus Vent (Engineer)
Personality: Phone Switchboard Operator
Weapon: Sentries
Yes, we're aware some robots were delivered to the Combat Drilling area by mistake. We're pretty busy right now, so we'll get to them in short order. Until then, just tell the other robots to leave them be. They're self-aware learning robots and we just taught them how to assemble the disassemblers for the fifth floor, so just don't let them near any scrap metal, overt violence or anything that might make them want to protect themselves or fear for their safety. I'll be down to move them right after Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
Assemblybot (Medic)
Weapon: Repairing Magnet
--More Coming Soon--
"Portal Fortress". The game takes place inside test tracks in the Aperture Military Hardware Drilling and Home Office Supply Sphere, where Aperture-Brand Military Androids are field-tested to determine combat readiness.
Concussotron (Scout)
Personality: Barely Contained Emotional Breakdown
Weapon: Propulsion Gel Cannon / Rail Hook
This unit is highly mobile and capable of utilizing the robot mobility tracks. Someone pointed out the minor pitfall that those mobility tracks aren't generally available on active battlefields, but the lab boys assure us we can install them for a nominal fee.
Aggressor Core (Soldier)
Personality: Reincarnated Soldier
Weapon: Rockets
A repurposed Rocket Turret. We downloaded the personality of a decorated war hero to make it more deadly, but it turns out that guy was a homeless drifter covered in raccoon bites. Either way, he was willing to do it for $60, paid in expired soup.
Incinerating Unit (Pyro)
Weapon: Handheld Discourager
I'll be honest with you. This one was a pretty bad mistake. We tried to fire the team responsible, but the robot beat us to it. It also fired the files, some furniture, and several visiting astronauts. So we basically just locked the door on that wing, hung a fern on there, and walked away. You didn't put it into the testing rotation, did you?
Pitchomat (Demoman)
Personality: Pitchman
Weapon: Explosives
This midsize robot was actually designed to deliver hot popcorn at baseball games, from back before baseball was outlawed. Currently we're experimenting with a retrofit to make them throw live grenades, but nothing we do can stop them screaming advertising slogans.
Suppressnik (Heavy)
Personality: Angry Janitor
Weapon: Heavy Cleansing Gel Hose
Originally this fella was just there to pull skeletons out of test chambers and keep blood out of the groutwork, but when one was accidentally left in a live test chamber with a subject, we couldn't get it enrolled in the Combat Program fast enough. We also couldn't sleep for a week. On the bright side, turns out that cleaning hose is ideal for discouraging Concussotrons and Aggression Units from using their Mobility Gel Bombs.
Mobile Apparatus Vent (Engineer)
Personality: Phone Switchboard Operator
Weapon: Sentries
Yes, we're aware some robots were delivered to the Combat Drilling area by mistake. We're pretty busy right now, so we'll get to them in short order. Until then, just tell the other robots to leave them be. They're self-aware learning robots and we just taught them how to assemble the disassemblers for the fifth floor, so just don't let them near any scrap metal, overt violence or anything that might make them want to protect themselves or fear for their safety. I'll be down to move them right after Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
Assemblybot (Medic)
Weapon: Repairing Magnet
--More Coming Soon--
