Charge Me, Doc

Right now, the Heavy is the only class that celebrates an Ubercharge. It's fun; he roars and snarls and does all the things a four hundred pound man with two hundred pound minigun should do while invincible. So I was thinking... shouldn't the other classes get a share of the fun? Even if they shouldn't, shut up, I'm writing this.

The Scout:
I'm batting a thousand!
Look out, chumps, I'm scratch resistant!
Winning!
Hahaha! Hahaha... oh, you're dead.
Who's the tough guy now, huh tough guys?
I. AM. INVINCIBLE.
Oh, I'm sorry, were you shooting me?
Deadguysayswhat?

The Soldier:
[hums the Ride of the Valkyries]
You see the pretty glow son?
Try and stop me now, commies!
Now let's get to the real killing!

The Demoman:
Oh, you're all dead now, laddies!
Leave nothing left! Not even bones!

The Engineer:
Y'all are gonna the horns.
Gotta get me the specs on this!
I am the irresistible force.
You'll ain't immovable, son.

The Medic:
Ticket, please!
You will vacate the premises, or be shot!
Time of death: right now!
The prognosis is dim!

The Sniper:
I'm invincible, mate, don't try nothing stupid.
What, never seen a glowing Aussie before?

The allied Spy:Garish, yet effective.

The enemy Spy (audible only to his teammates):
For your information...
Shh! Somebody see if he notices!

Voice Lines, Part I

Scout:
While snared in slowdown:
C'mon, c'mon!
Work, dammit!

Getting an environmental kill:
Watch your step, chuckles.

Using Mad Milk:
Does my body good!
You got something on your shirt--zing!

Getting a Fish Kill:
(shouts number of hit), (laughs)

Soldier:
Buff Banner/Battalion's Back-up Activated:
Let's bring the pain, boys!
Into the breach!
Sic 'em!

Blocking Crits with Battalion's Back-Up:
Your luck just ran out, son.
Where is your crocket now?
Take your fancy damage multipliers and go home, son!

Respawning after suiciding:
Let's try that again.
One more go!

Pyro:
the mumbling is implied
Extinguishing Ally:
Feel better?
You're welcome.

After a successful axetinguisher kill:
Tag, you're it!

Demoman:
Collecting several heads in a row:
Come and get me, I say!
I'm a grim bloody fable!
I think I nicked your ear.

Dying to fall damage:
Dammit.
Ach, that smarts.
Whoopsie!
I think I misjudged that one.
My ankle!

Heavy:
With GRU out:
(huffing and puffing)
(panting)

When a nearby medic is being damaged:
Protect the doctor!
Get behind me doctor!

Engineer:
Having an ally destroy a sapper on your building:
Thanks, pardner.
Thanks, buddy.

After destroying several sappers:
Come on out n' try again, Frenchy.

Multiple buildings are sapped simultaneously:
Boys, we have a saboteur!
There's a spy in my camp!

Medic:
Death with >90% ubercharge:
Noooooo!
My life... wasted.

Activating ubercharge:
Forward, my minions!
Forward or you will be shot!

Behind allies calling for a Medic:
Over here!
Follow me!

While blocking damage with uber:
I am invincible!
Thank me later, kill them now!

Sniper:
Upon having your Razorback broken:
You hear something?

Upon surviving a headshot:
That was a close one.
Must be slipping.
Lucky day.

Spy:
Upon catching fire:
Tiresome.

All Class:
These are ideas for additional opportunities for audio responses for all classes.
Picking up a full health kit while "in the red".
Getting airblasted.
Seeing an enemy pop an uber
Shooting a critical hit
Killing an enemy at long distance
Witnessing an ally get killed

• perhaps make this one extremely rare, or only when allies are on your Steam Friends list

Killing the top scorer on the enemy team
Killing a hat-wearing enemy.
Thanking an ally who killed someone who damaged you recently.

New Taunts

Obsessive compulsives like me like to see things completed reasonably. With the new items flooding the market, boy, wouldn't it be nice to get new taunts for all this stuff? Maybe? Okay, I really don't have any idea, but I had fun thinking of them, dang it. Feel free to add your own, as mine are far from perfect.

Scout:
Short Stop
Holds the gun out, one-handed, then tilts it sideways.

Mad Milk
Holds his pinkies out and puts them on his forehead and pretends to be a bull.

Bonk
Poses, hands on hips, then flickers slightly

Crit-a-Cola
Thumbs his nose.

Holy Mackerel
Feels his bicep admiringly.

Candy Cane
Swings it, Buster Keaton style.

Boston Basher
Pricks his finger with it, then sucks it.

Soldier:

Black Box
Performs a bras d'honneur

Battalion's Back-Up
Plays hacky-sack with a grenade.
Frying Pan
Spins it in his open hand.

Pain Train
Poses like Washington crossing the Delaware.

Pyro:

Degreaser
Pretends his napalm grenades are planes.

Powerjack
Throws up the horns, headbangs

Homewrecker
Pretends it's a putter.

Backscratcher
Scratches his tank?

Demoman:
Loch-n-Load
Indicates that he's got his eye on you.

Ullapool Caber
Meet-the-Demoman style salute.

Scottish Skullcutter
Dusts his hands.

Cliahaoevowelsoaerd Mor
Holds it above his head in both hands, He-man style.

Heavy:
Brass Beast
Pets the barrel lovingly.

Steak
Imitates the Scout's pulse-checking pistol taunt.

Warrior's Spirit
Snarls like a bear (obviously)

Fists of Steel
Beckons with giant fist.

GRU
Three lightning-fast jabs.

Engineer:
Southern Hospitality
Juggles wrench, passing it behind the back.

Jag
Performs the wrench taunt twice as fast, twice.

Medic:
Crusader's Crossbow
Snaps back, chest out, with crossbow held in front of his face.

Sniper:
Sydney Sleeper

Double finger guns.

Jarate
Meaningfully zips up pants.

Tribal Shiv
Appears to block face from "paparazzi".

Bushwacka
Feigns shaving.

Spy:

L'Etranger
Performs a simple magic trick, shifting the gun between hands.

Your Eternal Reward
Pretends to read newspaper.

Achievements

With all the new content, new items, and general neatness going on in TF2 these days, I thought I'd come up with some more achievements. You know, for fun. You're welcome, no, encouraged to participate!

Some of the Achievement Images

Blood Drive:
Deal 1500 points of bleed damage to enemies.

Whose point is it, Anyway?
Capture a point at x6 cap speed, using only three people.

Irony:
Kill a spy from behind with regular melee damage.

Picnic Pocket
Pick up 10 sandviches deployed by enemy Heavies.

Day at the Races:
Win ten Payload Cart races.

Omega Man:
Kill more than two enemies as the last man standing in Arena Mode.

Hill Hole:
Survive 500 damage while capturing the point during KOTH.

Self Loathing:
Dominate a member of the class you are currently playing, 25 times.

Count of Monte Dustbowl:
Get 100 revenges.

Drink More Overtime:
Capture the Hill during overtime and hold it for three consecutive minutes.

Hydroplaning:
Win a game of Territory Control without giving up territory.

Objectivist:
Complete 1000 objectives.

No Redeploy for the Wicked:
Kill 25 engineers as they haul buildings.

Boy Scout Cramp
Kill 1000 scouts.

The Quagmire
Kill 1000 soldiers.

Permanent Axtinction
Kill 1000 Pyros.

King Edward
Kill 1000 Demomen.

Weight watchers
Kill 1000 Heavies.

Messed with Texas
Kill 1000 Engineers.

Malpractice Suit
Kill 1000 medics.

I'm Jack Ruby
Kill 1000 snipers.

Assassin's Bleed
Kill 1000 spies.

Honor in Defeat:
Kill a member of the winning team during Humiliation.

Live Another Day:
Run a lifetime two kilometers during Humiliation rounds.

Unconventional Healing
Heal one million points of health without using supply lockers, health kits, dispensers, or mediguns.
sandviches, mad milk, blutsauger, black box, powerjack/eyelander kills

CLASS SPECIFIC

Scout:
Milked Dry:
Earn 1000 heal points for your team with Mad Milk.

Candy Crutch:
Collect 20 health packs supplied by the Candy Cane.

Soldier:
Six Flags:
Fill your rage meter five times while critboosted from five different intel captures.

Lightning War:
Capture three points in a row without dying.

Ribsticker:
Heal 1000 HP with the Black Box.

Colorguard:
Cooperate with another Soldier to deploy a Buff Banner and Battalion's Back Up simultaneously.

Pyro:
Rocket Chump:
Perform an airblast-rocket jump.
may require a distance modifier

Buffed the Magic Dragon
Score 100 non-random critical hits with the Flare Gun.

Snuff 'Em:
Extinguish 100 allies with the airblast.

Airball
Stun a scout with his own ball.

Double Mis-Take
Kill someone with a reflected flaming arrow headshot.

Spy Hunter
Destroy a sapper and kill the Spy who placed it.

Kung Fire:
Heal 500HP with reflected Black Box rockets.

Jack Be Quick:
Heal 500HP with the Powerjack.

Demoman:

Engie-near
Kill an engineer and his sentry in the same explosion.

Random Ax of Violence
While armed with the Scotsman's Skullcutter, get three kills where you assist or are assisted by a Pyro wielding either the Fire ax or the Axestinguisher.

Binge
Capture three capture points without dying.

Axecutor of the Estate
Destroy three Engineer buildings then behead the Engineer who built them.

Bloody Red King:
Play a full round where you earn the highest score on a team of six or more players, and earn at least five decapitations.

Dead Eye:
Get 100 kills with the Loch-n-Load.

Tuber Tosser:
Get an environmental kill with the Ullapool Caber.

Heavy:
French Toast:
Heal a spy calling for a medic with your sandvich, then kill him. Kill him good.

Chocolatey Center
Survive a direct hit from a critical rocket with overhealing from a Dalokohs Bar.

Positively Dashing
Kill two enemies with the GRU while under the effect of the Buffalo Steak Sandvich.

The Iron Mitten
Win 50 melee duels with the Fists of Steel.

Engineer:
Punch Drunk Glove
While armed with the Gunslinger, get two kills where you assist or are assisted by a punching Heavy.

Snapping Turtle:
Kill 25 enemies with your shotgun.

Waterproofing:
Heal 500 HP of drowning damage in one life where you earn at least one kill.

One-two Punch
Kill a stunned enemy with the wrench.

Insurrectin' A Sentry:
Kill an enemy with a sentry constructed within five meters of their own intel.

Medic:
Nos-TF-two
Heal 300HP with the Blutsauger in one life.

Self Medicating:
Save yourself from fire with a home brew.

Das Automatik:
Land 20 consecutive hits with the Syringegun or Blutsauger.

Neighborhood Harmacist:
Heal four people on your Steam Friends list simultaneously with the Amputator.

Healing And Hurting
In two shots, heal an ally whose HP is in the red and kill an enemy that attacked him in the last five seconds.

Sniper:
Two Shakes:
Assist in the deaths of two enemies in two seconds with the Sydney Sleeper.
Spy:
Silent and Deadly:
Get 100 backstabs with the Eternal Reward.

Cloakroom:
Earn 1500% cloak with L'Etranger.

Bodysnatcher:
Kill a Medic's patient with the Eternal Reward, then kill the Medic.