SPUF Character Contest 2 Winner: Stamda

The Mercenaries in TF2 are just guys. They work their jobs--blowing things up, shooting people in the head, shooting lots of people in the head, keeping people alive, shooting people in the head with rockets--but they're regular guys from a variety of backstories.

Those backstories are arbitrary, and I wanted to change them. Not because I think they're bad, but they're arbitrary and I wanted to see who else could do these jobs! So I challenged SPUF and said "Show me your moves!" Design a new version of a TF2 class, write a couple voice lines for 'em, tell me what their default melee weapons, and I promised them that I'd put them here.

Well, here's one by Stamda, who won the contest! Runners up to follow!

The Sniper
Bio: Stay off her lawn! A curmudgeonly old hag from Fort Gratiot Township, Michigan, this geriatric banshee of a woman can thread bullets through skulls as easily as she can string into sweaters! If you don't get a head full of lead, you'll sure as hell get an earful of berating from this living insult generator! She's mighty good at cribbage and checkers, too.
Appearance: Wrinkled, sunken face, gummed mouth, bifocals, an orange wig, a nightgown and slippers. Stands with a hunch, runs with a hobble and swings melee weapons meagerly.
Weapon changes:  -Rifle is an ironsights rifle with a crack in the stock and a piece of fake hair stuck in the ejection port. -SMG is dual Scorpion variants that are heavily beaten, with a tally mark (totalling 7) labeled "Husbands" on the right gun. -Melee is a rolling pin with flour and blood on it.  Voice: Raspy, wheezy, and intended to annoy.
Voiceline examples:  Kill streak: "Do they kill boys at birth now or what?" Headshot: "Here, let me help your miserable wife out!" Melee dare: "Don't run, you'll just die tired and an embarrassment!" Dominating a Scout: "Nyeeheehee, my dentures are squrrielier than you, schoolgirl!"

SPUF-Authored Voicelines

I ran a bit of a contest on SPUF, where I challenged the community there to write voicelines for their favorite set. It got a few replies with a variety of good voicelines, although far more references to Doctor Who than I had anticipated. Such is life, I suppose. Anyway, here are voicelines that I felt really captured the spirit of the contest, or made me laugh.

Astronaut--
Court Marshaled, Maggot!
To the firing line!
Back in line, maggot!

Stamda--
Where's my money?
Hey you, with the shoes and the shirt!

 Von Raptor
On Kill assist: "where would I be without my Patient?"
Spy Kill: (Angrily) "It seems my team can fight, but cannot observe..."
: "There is nothing more obvious then a "Deceptive" Spy"
: "and so ends the curious incident of the engie in the night time"
: "Bad spies are common, Good ones are rare, therefore it is in the former that you fall!"
:"no ghost need apply"

After a large number of kills/assists on a short time: "When you have eliminated the enemy, what ever remains must be a failure! Haha!"
"I am the Medic, it is my business to stop your business"

Winner!

Vivhero--
When Dominating
Scout: "Dominated! Can't run now can ya ya poser?"
Soldier: "Keep lobbing rockets brotha, I can eat them up!"
Pyro: "Oh man! Your like a big walkin' Healthpack!"
Heavy: "Ya wanna eat fatty? Hope ya like fish, I got seconds when ya come back!"
Engineer: "Drink it up cowboy!"
Demoman: "Aim always beats spam!"
Spy: "COme on ya spook, disappear! Try it!"
Medic: "Ya won't be needed here doc!"
Sniper: "No matter how high the tower is, ya still get beat by a fish like a moron!"

Toying with Sets: Taunts and Voicelines

TF2 is full of item sets, and some item sets, when you wear them, affect the Merc's behavior. Whether this translates to silly voicelines (Heavy is prettiest princess!) or silly behavior (Thriller Dancing) or just something else changes depending on sets, but generally it introduces some new ways for the Mercs to make us laugh.

So I had this idea: what if any given class had been released with a particular set as their default outfit and weapons? Obviously, this would affect the way the players thought about the characters and change the way the characters were written. What if the Sniper was British Expat in Saudi Arabia instead of an Australian? What if the Scout was a bankrobber?  How would it affect their domination lines? How would it affect all of their lines?

For example, I look at the Riot Demoman set and I imagined that the Demoman, rather than being a black Scottish Cyclops, was a black, drunk Scottish Cyclops policeman, and wrote a handful of lines to match.
Here's a selection:
"Die! In the name of the law!"
"I'm a police Officer! I'll leave you in pieces!"
"What's that? Po-lease brutalize me? With pleasure!"
"I'm a loose cannon with nothing left to lose!"
"You have the right to remain dead."
"If you cannot afford a coffin, one will be provided for you."
"What's all this, then?"

"I need this point for police business!"
"This is being held for evidence!"

This is something I intend to do for a handful of sets as I like, and to seek help in doing from the SPUF! Leave a comment with a handful of unique voice lines for your favorite Subclass!

Meet the Dumpster Diver/ TF2 Voice-overs

This is easily the greatest SFM video I've seen since the program started. Well written, original, wonderfully animated, choreographed, and best off all, it takes that hideous Dumpster Diver set and makes it into easily the Baddest Bad Thing ever. I won't go as murder-house crazy as one poster (who threatened to eat a stew made of his own pubes if it didn't win a Saxxy), but seriously, if this doesn't win a Saxxy it will be because the world was destroyed by horrible fun-hating creatures from beyond the stars.

Something about this video lead me to start thinking about how voice acting is used in SFM. The way he mutes Merasmus and the Soldier's conversation not only sells the idea that you're eavesdropping, but it also breaks up the audio so that the fact that it's going to be recycled lines that are pitch-for-pitch identical to the stuff in the game is not as distracting.

 The voice acting in TF2, while comedy gold, isn't really performed to be conversational, which means that even sentences that grammatically work as dialog sound off. These aren't even really meant to be dialog--they're background noise. Hilarious, well-written background noise, but mostly it's stuff to give TF2's combat a little sonic texture. When they're used in Source Filmmaker videos, there is often an uncanny valley effect: the words don't quite match up with the situation. This, of course, gets worse for TF2 fans; we've heard all this audio a billion times, so we know exactly where every line comes from and it tends to really remind me that you don't have access to the original voice actors.

Of course, it's not really that bad of a problem, and I cannot say that it genuinely detracts from a movie's overall quality. But it's something to be aware of, I guess. Listen to your audio really closely when you add it.

Ask yourself some questions:

 "What was the VO intended for--does it match the emotional relationship with my usage?"
 For example, although two lines may be written down as "Help me!" One may be frustrated, while the other is desperate. The Engineer shouting "I need some doggone help!" sounds angry, as though he's tired of being the only one on the point. The Spy shouting "I require assistance!" sounds a little more needy, but it's such a long sentence compared to "Help!" it diminishes his desperation.

"Can I edit this VO to make it fit better?"
Use editing software to change up dialog lines. Minor changes are usually better than major ones--add a tenth of a second to simulate a pause here, slightly change the pitch to alter the inflection there. Sometimes you can make Frankenlines by editing two together, but I don't know if that's going to sound great every time

"Do I need this audio?"
People tend to overuse audio because they have access to it. But watch these videos: The Mac promotional video, the Mann Vs. Machine promotional video, the Engineer Update promotional video. Three videos, and each one has one VO part in it, and none of them uses anything more than incidental audio.

The community's familiarity with the voice acting means that unless you use that audio in a really, really novel way, it's going to sound robotic to them. These are jokes they've already heard, so unless it's absolutely necessary to the scene, it's probably better to limit yourself to one, or let your acting do the talking.

"Can I get someone else to do it?"
Write some original dialog for your scene and see if you can't get someone else to perform it. Even if the actor is completely terrible, the novelty of original dialog might bring your video up! And sometimes, you might get lucky with some great material or something. Who knows?

Soldier Lines

Buffing more than two allies with any banner
[screams The Ride of the Valkyries]
[screams The Revielle]
[screams the Charge bugle call]
[incoherent screaming]
Yer mammas are very proud of you!
Forward, you bunch of nancies!
I am commending you all for a promotion!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavok!
These colors do not run!

Using the Buff Banner specifically
Make these ones count, boys!
Shoot 'em right in the whites of their eyes!
We come waving the [Green/Yellow] Flag of War!
I love the smell of crits in the morning!
I am literally urinating glory!
Let's give these hippies haircuts!
Kill 'em. Kill 'em all.

Using the Battalion's Backup specifically
We are engaged in a Charlie Foxtrot! And a one-two-three-one-two-three!
We will fight them until they are in the ground.
You sorry lot will die when I tell you, and not a moment before!
You call that killing me?
Armor's on!

Using the Concheror:
Happy forward times for great successful!
Their blood will salve your wounds!
Your pain sustains me!
Bring me their ears!

Charge Me, Doc

Right now, the Heavy is the only class that celebrates an Ubercharge. It's fun; he roars and snarls and does all the things a four hundred pound man with two hundred pound minigun should do while invincible. So I was thinking... shouldn't the other classes get a share of the fun? Even if they shouldn't, shut up, I'm writing this.

The Scout:
I'm batting a thousand!
Look out, chumps, I'm scratch resistant!
Winning!
Hahaha! Hahaha... oh, you're dead.
Who's the tough guy now, huh tough guys?
I. AM. INVINCIBLE.
Oh, I'm sorry, were you shooting me?
Deadguysayswhat?

The Soldier:
[hums the Ride of the Valkyries]
You see the pretty glow son?
Try and stop me now, commies!
Now let's get to the real killing!

The Demoman:
Oh, you're all dead now, laddies!
Leave nothing left! Not even bones!

The Engineer:
Y'all are gonna the horns.
Gotta get me the specs on this!
I am the irresistible force.
You'll ain't immovable, son.

The Medic:
Ticket, please!
You will vacate the premises, or be shot!
Time of death: right now!
The prognosis is dim!

The Sniper:
I'm invincible, mate, don't try nothing stupid.
What, never seen a glowing Aussie before?

The allied Spy:Garish, yet effective.

The enemy Spy (audible only to his teammates):
For your information...
Shh! Somebody see if he notices!

Voice Lines, Part I

Scout:
While snared in slowdown:
C'mon, c'mon!
Work, dammit!

Getting an environmental kill:
Watch your step, chuckles.

Using Mad Milk:
Does my body good!
You got something on your shirt--zing!

Getting a Fish Kill:
(shouts number of hit), (laughs)

Soldier:
Buff Banner/Battalion's Back-up Activated:
Let's bring the pain, boys!
Into the breach!
Sic 'em!

Blocking Crits with Battalion's Back-Up:
Your luck just ran out, son.
Where is your crocket now?
Take your fancy damage multipliers and go home, son!

Respawning after suiciding:
Let's try that again.
One more go!

Pyro:
the mumbling is implied
Extinguishing Ally:
Feel better?
You're welcome.

After a successful axetinguisher kill:
Tag, you're it!

Demoman:
Collecting several heads in a row:
Come and get me, I say!
I'm a grim bloody fable!
I think I nicked your ear.

Dying to fall damage:
Dammit.
Ach, that smarts.
Whoopsie!
I think I misjudged that one.
My ankle!

Heavy:
With GRU out:
(huffing and puffing)
(panting)

When a nearby medic is being damaged:
Protect the doctor!
Get behind me doctor!

Engineer:
Having an ally destroy a sapper on your building:
Thanks, pardner.
Thanks, buddy.

After destroying several sappers:
Come on out n' try again, Frenchy.

Multiple buildings are sapped simultaneously:
Boys, we have a saboteur!
There's a spy in my camp!

Medic:
Death with >90% ubercharge:
Noooooo!
My life... wasted.

Activating ubercharge:
Forward, my minions!
Forward or you will be shot!

Behind allies calling for a Medic:
Over here!
Follow me!

While blocking damage with uber:
I am invincible!
Thank me later, kill them now!

Sniper:
Upon having your Razorback broken:
You hear something?

Upon surviving a headshot:
That was a close one.
Must be slipping.
Lucky day.

Spy:
Upon catching fire:
Tiresome.

All Class:
These are ideas for additional opportunities for audio responses for all classes.
Picking up a full health kit while "in the red".
Getting airblasted.
Seeing an enemy pop an uber
Shooting a critical hit
Killing an enemy at long distance
Witnessing an ally get killed

• perhaps make this one extremely rare, or only when allies are on your Steam Friends list

Killing the top scorer on the enemy team
Killing a hat-wearing enemy.
Thanking an ally who killed someone who damaged you recently.